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read my profile sign my guestbook Name: = Metro: Birthday: 8/31/1988 Gender: Male Interests: Yep, I like Orange Juice. Expertise: Computers (mainly), Random Trivia Occupation: Take a guess Message: message meEmail: email me AIM:  LVasago
Member Since: 5/10/2005 |
Saturday, October 03, 2009
FrackGod, it's 02.00 and I've got to be at work in 6 hours. Actually clock in, not just head that way. Might as well not sleep. I finally have the 7th book in the Dark Tower series to keep me company.Border's only had the larger print edition, that shit FUCKS my eyes up...but I HAD to have it. Stupid impulse buying. *note to self, fix that*. Well..here I am, 10 months into the year, depressed as hell, flat broke, two speeding tickets to take care of, holding onto my sanity one sick thought after the next, with only my wild promises to keep myself stable. I think people at work are starting to pick up on my depression. I know I can fix my own shit, but for some reason I want to make it worse. "You have to lose it all, to even know what you had". FUCK that statement. I knew what I had and I threw it straight out my window. I don't even know why....because it's what people wanted, that's why. I grew up in a sad little world. I didn't starve, I wasn't poor by most means, but I didn't have much. When my parents split, my world cracked. I was at a complete loss and it hit me hard. I took to reading to get me through the days and man oh man did it work. (By the way, I've given up on trying to make perfect sentence structures, so bear with me and my obscene passion for comas. and you, YES YOU, Mr. Run-On Sentence, go screw yourself). It worked everyday until I met Cory. Somehow, he made me start to question paperbacked bliss and see what else was beyond the next page. He helped me climb out of my shell. Then I went to high school. Not only was that a change, "growing up" and that whole spiel, but I went from k-8th grade in a PRIVATE school, to PUBLIC "EDUCATION". I saw COLORS, people wearing all kinds of clothes (or lack-thereof, thank you teenage girls ;D ) and people without fancy watches, and nice shoes. I saw people for who they were, not what they had on them self. I made FRIENDS the people I truly cared about, not just what they had at their house to play with. High school helped me become...well, semi-me. I still have no clue as to what I want to be in life There was this show, about some SUPER-GENIUS boy was taken from his mother at an early age, put in a basement somewhere and taught ALL kinds of things. He was a SERIOUS jack-of-all-trades kind of guy. And in this show, he escaped and was looking for his mother. But along the way he had to help other people and do different jobs. Like....brain surgeon, formula one mechanic, pilot, all sorts of stuff. I want to be that guy, but without the whole searching for the mum thing. I want to do different jobs week to week. One week build boats, the next week go up into space, and the week after that make candles. Shit like that...just EVERYTHING. I can't keep my mind happy long enough with a basic task, repeated over and over. But with people, I CRAVE regularity, simplicity, normal. I love it in people, to know what they'll do next, what they'll say. If they break habit, they break my mindset, yeah, I know I'm rather weird. And I finally found the girl who gave me everything I wanted, to a point. She really was perfect, for me. But I fucked that all up, I fucked myself up, and I screwed myself out of being me. I robbed myself of ACTUALLY finally having the chance to be happy. And for what? Because it was what I was told to do......I couldn't fix the tiny things, they had to work themselves out. Time takes time, you know that, Aaron? Guess you didn't, you thought you could speed the clock up. Gears break down under stress, remember that..... I bought myself ANOTHER 'nother car. John wanted my Accord, so I sold it to him. And bought me an '88 CRX. WOO HOOO I got a go-kart. Sounds like one too :) I'll put pictures of it on here, just for you Xanga...because I doubt anyone comes here anymore. What's the point, Xanga is dead you know... -sigh- Just...why do I do things, than I know will hurt me in the end? Because I try to please people, way to much. And look where it got me....in a shit-hole situation where no one even talks to me. What did I do wrong? can SOMEONE at least explain that to me. Honestly blows ass, but at least I have the truth, the fact, the reality of the situation. I need a new phone, mine doesn't like getting text messages anymore. Or phone calls, or voicemail. Why oh why, 3G, why? Apple is sending me a box, to place my "damaged" phone into it, and send it to them, so they can send me a replacement, so they can fix mine and send it back. Why don't they just let me keep the replacement? Oh, because that makes sense, DUH. I'm sorry Marah, as sorry as I can be. I ruined us, what we had. Sometimes, I can't even sleep, because I try and imagine you next to me, how you just molded to me, and the smell of your hair. That's all gone now, it's all a memory. Photographic. I can't recall how you felt, the actual scent of your shampoo. I didn't give you a chance, I know I used up all of mine. I wish I could...start it all over. Back to day ONE. When I actually applied at dillons and was looking for freaking bagels FOREVER because Dillon's felt the need to "expand". I remember looking back at you and wondering what you would be like...I miss the mystery that was you. I flat out miss you. God, I'm a fool, a blundering idiot. I feel like the Beast, all locked up in the tower, keeping myself down. (failure is up 89%, good job buddy!). I don't want to ask for your forgiveness, your understading. I don't want to ask you of anything. I destroyed what could of been, and hurt you in so many ways. I wish I could reverse this, take it all back. But alas, I can't. I'm stuck here, HERE. I'm sorry I failed you. But, it's all gone now, I suppose. Along with me, myself, and I. ALLL gone. The shell's back and it'll take more than someone new to drag me out. At least I have my shit-box dreams and broken down car to keep me alive. B18C GSR, you'll be mine. 12 second 1/4 mile, you'll be mine. Some form of education, you'll be mine...eventually. Why can't I be that one guy, Doctor Everything.....do they make a PhD in EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET? Because that's what I want...to know all that is to be known. Data...he was cool. Liked listening to too many songs though, at least he inspired the iPod. Sanity....we'll have to have lunch sometime and discuss your..."productivity" levels within the Aaron Corporation. *ADDITION* So...we have to be really careful at work now. Watch our backs, make sure we don't fuck things up.....and I happen to show up 1.5 hours late! GO ME! >_< Next week, I'm getting up EARLY and being there at 10. No more fuckin' up on my end. I doubt I could even find a better job here....
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Monday, July 06, 2009
| I just looked at my last post. Since then, I have been hired on at FOC. I'm only making $10 an hour there. I wish I was making more, I'll be looking into that during the next few days. My Jeep decided it wanted to die! The electrical system took a dump, radiator cracked, and it seems a lot of oil is burning in the engine block now, white smoke pours out :D Seem Edgar finally retired >_< I put it on Craigslist, a guy came and looked at it, some other people showed interest, but it's not selling. I think I'll just stick to my original idea with it: 1. Take out the block, beef it up, and place it into an older CJ-5/7, one of the two. 2. Restore the Grand Wagoneer while placing a big block in there. Make it a show vehicle, or maybe even a drag car. That would be some fun. Oh well, gonna buy a 93 Mustang LX now. It's just a 4 banger, but it'll save me from spending $80+ on gas a week. Yep. Gonna try and go to WSU in the fall, I'll see what classes I feel like taking. I know math and English, but unsure on what other class I might take. Wonder if they have any blacksmith classes there... Yearp. Helped James and Lindsay move into their apartment. It's not a bad little place. I'm just way to biased on apartments after living in Yorktown for so long. Kinda feel like swimming today. Off to make pizza. Later Xanga, or anyone who bothers to read this.
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Well now!I finally have a job. It's through Westaff (temporary job placement) at Furniture on Consignment. It's not too bad of a job. I'm enjoying it so far and will most likely stay there for a long while.The pay is decent, easy job, amusing people. I put together furniture over in the warehouse. I've only worked there for two days far. I was told I might start working in the shop (where they fix the damaged goods) after 5 when most people leave. I'll be doing what my Dad does, except he goes to people's houses. I don't want to go into a strangers home, to fix furniture they have sat on and whatnot. I find it brave of him to do so. I don't have that kind of trust in people. Everyone there knows me as Aaron, Charlie Miller's son. That's getting kind of old, but it's nice to know that I'm known already. I love Edgar (my Jeep), but I can tell the drive over there will put a strain on him. I'm gonna pay off Gramma, then start saving for another vehicle. Hopefully I'll have a new one by the end of August, but I doubt that. Most likely late September. If I find a decent older Honda, I might pick one up. I miss my old one :( stupid curbs. Or I might pick up and older Camaro and fix it up. I'll figure it out. I plan on having around 3k for a car, that way I can fix/improve if need be. Yearp.
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Sunday, February 01, 2009
A classicI often find myself looking at old homes, cars, furniture, and art. I like to see what people created in years past. One thing really sticks out to me. It's one of the most amazing cars I've ever seen.A 1925 Rolls-Royce Phantom 1 Jonckheere Coupe is just, amazing. It's been modified from it's original design. I just really love how Jonckheere Carrossiers crafted this work of mechanized art. If I could own this very one, or make my own, I would be highly pleased. It's been passed around for decades and finally rests in the Petersen Museum. Here is the car as it is today:         | |
Friday, November 28, 2008
December, DecemberSo, I'm leaving Wal-Mart next Friday (December 5th). That's also Lindsay and Galenea's birthday! PLUS, Punisher Warzone comes out, so it's lookin' like a good day on my end.I'm not sure what I want to get Galenea or Lindsay for their birthday's. I think I'll just lump both of their gifts in for Christmas. Damn, I still next to get James and Rex gifts from their birthdays. Fuck, I'll be broke this Christmas. Anyway, I'm not sure where I'll be going job wise. I'm gonna be applying around at places and see what happens. Thing is: I want to be off by 10 or 11 at night, so I can still hang out with everyone; make at least $550+ a paycheck; and have Saturday's off. Sam's seems like a good place. No, I'm not gonna bother with a transfer, like management would approve that one during Christmas season. I know I'll figure it out. Next paycheck can go to WHATEVER I want it too (mainly presents). But it'll be around 500$, plus the bonus, plus whatever I make from selling my stocks. So, hopefully I'll leave Wal-Mart with $700-800 (depends on the stock). Gonna go read now, then sleep. Today's Black Friday. Wooooooooooooooo
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